As we approach our 10 year anniversary I'm just in awe that we have been married 10 years. 10 years seems like it flew by. It seems like yesterday that I was waiting on Eric at Village Inn and I didn't even know his name. I knew he was the handsome blonde guy that drank a lot of coffee and always wore a UMD hoodie. He was always polite. Always left a tip and always had the nicest softest smile. I couldn't believe when I asked him out he said yes. I can't believe we got married 9 months later and now we've been married 10 years.
During our 10 years we've lived in Nebraska, Minnesota, Wyoming, Colorado and Florida. We've traveled to several other states and had many many adventures.
During our 10 years we've owned 3 houses, rented plenty more and had multiple multiple moves. Each move with more stuff and each move faster and more stressful.
During our 10 years we've seen our siblings give us 18 nieces and nephews with one more coming in August and I'm sure plenty more to come.
During our 10 years we've had advancements at work, we've bought boats, fourwheelers, new cars, etc. We've been comfortable. We've been blessed in ways we still can't believe.
During our 10 years we've gotten Coach and Bear. What would we do with out Coach and Bear!!?! They are our world, our kids for now and bring so much joy to the Johnson Ranch.
During our 10 years we've formed new relationships with couples and friends. We've formed new relationships with relatives and realized how many people we have in our lives that are so important to us. We've also reformed old relationships that are better than ever. I'm still as close with my Wyoming High school girl friends as if I was only a couple years out of school! (Not everyone can say that..... not everyone wants to say that) Eric even got to live in Gillette for 2 years and become friends with all my friends and family from there. He got to experience where I had the best childhood ever. How cool is that?!?
During our 10 years, we've been away from family. This is one of my most favorite things. Not that I like being away from family because those of you that know me, know that that's what our world revolves around, but the fact that we were far enough away to figure out who we are as a couple. Not who our parents or friends thought we should be, but who we thought we should be and who we've become. We have learned so much about each other. We've come to depend on each other. We HAVE to be there for each other and we HAVE to be OK, because we are the only ones we have.
During our 10 years it hasn't all been wonderful; we've lost 4 babies, had panic attacks, dealt with depression, had surgeries, have had broken bones, broken hearts, been homesick, have lost a parent, grandparents, close friends and loved ones. Along with all the good we've had our fair share of bad.
Just last week I was sick and was admitted to the hospital and had surgery. It was embarassing and I had to admit to Eric that I had been keeping a secret from him pretty much our whole marriage about a growth I had. I was embarrassed and mostly scared. Every year that passed I didn't know how to bring it up. I didn't know the right time. It didn't really bother me or cause pain, but it worried me. It worried me every minute of every day. I wondered if it had something to do with my health issues, I wondered if it had anything do to with my miscarriages, I wondered if it was cancer, I wondered so many things, but yet did nothing. My mom asked me how if I was so scared I never told a doctor. I guess I don't have an answer for that. We found out late Sunday that it was nothing. Literally nothing. A skin growth and that I was just fine. I don't have cancer. I'm not dying. I should have come clean years ago, but I didn't. Now that I came clean with Eric and my family and had surgery I'm feeling a lot better, I feel light on my feet, not just health wise but stress wise. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. For the first time in I think 15 years I have had a full night of sleep (besides Eric's snoring). I have woken up with energy. I have woken up ready to take on anything. Just today on a vacation day I bet I've done more emails and work mumbo jumbo by 10 am that I would normally do in a whole day. Not only keeping this secret put such a burden on me, but it was unfair to Eric and my family. SO Unfair. I apologize a hundred times over and urge anyone that has a health concern to just handle it. Nothing is too embarassing. Nothing is "not" normal. Nothing is too small to let your family and dr's know about. I learned the hard way, the long hard way and would wish that on no one. Even after all of this; Big J was by my side. Sleeping in the waiting room. Getting me water and ice. Taunting me because I couldn't eat or have a diet dew for almost 48 hours. When I was at my lowest he was there to make me smile and make me feel special. He didn't make me feel bad about keeping a secret, we just talked through it. With out him and our strong marriage, this last weekend would have been incredibly harder then it already was. (OH and of course, having my mom with me made a world of difference too, but I'll save my compliments and thoughts on my wonderful ma for another post).
I guess I'm writing this post just to say; hey if you are married and you are truly committed; no matter what happens, you'll make it work. And if you make it work; you are beyond blessed.
Happy 10 years big J!!!! And here's to many many many more!
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